Grief and bereavement

When we grieve the loss of a loved one, we grieve for the connection to a special place in ourselves. In this place we feel at home in the universe, safe, at love and in peace. Our culture puts a time limit on grief. You are allowed a certain while. After that you are expected to bounce back.

In reality, though, grief has no fast-forward button or a set timespan. Stay with it, with what you are feeling, with your grief. Grieving has to run its course. It comes in cycles of ups and downs, highs and lows. You may feel you are out of the woods before crashing down again. But the moment will come when you are sitting quietly, watching the sunset, the rain or the waves. You will feel that the love you shared with the other person is still there. The quality of love as a state has no time, no space, it wasn’t born and it doesn’t die.

There is a crack, a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.            Leonardo Cohen